Things are not that black and white. In general, at the population level, of course, breastfeeding should be encouraged. But the narrative should shift from the individual responsibility ("mothers should breastfeed because breastfed babies are less likely to develop diabetes") to the stakeholders’ responsibilities ("governments should pass laws that allow parents to breast/chest-feed their children because breastfed babies are less likely to become diabetic and a healthier population costs less and produces more"). Of course, parents are doing their best for their children! Of course, they want their children to be healthy. Even though the act of breast/chest-fed is individual, policies and campaigns should be populational. Telling parents what to do, scaring them as being personally responsible for their children's risk of chronic diseases, while not giving those parents ANY support to conduct the action the government wants is, at best, condescending (at worst, evil).
"Parent, you better breastfeed your child. Otherwise, they will become sick. But I won't give you parental leave. Your employer doesn’t have to give you a break to feed your child. Of course, you can't bring your baby to work. You can choose to take an unpaid 6-month break (you might lose your health insurance, by the way), but the work will continue, Joe will probably be promoted, and you will have to take several steps back in your career because of your 'extended vacation.' Of course, let's not talk about chest-feeding. And your low-supply is because you are tired and don't have family support. It is a gender-role problem. You should solve it. Your husband should help you.
While at home, please stay at home and do not breastfeed in public. If you have to run errands, bring your baby with you, but don't bring your baby with you. Breastfeed your baby, but if you are not at home, do not breastfeed and do not give them a bottle. Don't let them starve. But no bottle. And no public breastfeeding. And no pacifier. And no crying, please. It only shows how you should take better care of your baby. You should be at home. Breastfeed your baby."
In the perfect world, at the individual level, breast/chest feeding is ideal. But then, we don't live in such a world. And many times, exclusive breastfeeding is not a viable option. There are physical, physiological, and psychological reasons for some parents not exclusively breast/chest-feed their babies. As a nutritionist and lactation care professional, I acknowledge these situations and help parents find the best way for THEM to feed their infants. We all want the babies to be the healthiest in the world. So, it does not matter the technique, the strategy, parents, and health care professionals need to work together to find the best way to nurture an infant. Sometimes, breastfeeding is not an option due to where we live, how we live, our life goals, our family situations, our previous experiences, you name it. And you do not love your baby less because of that.
"[...] while breastfeeding is optimal, humans have rarely been able to pursue the optimal and trade-offs are frequently employed in a 'good enough' strategy." (Trevathan, 2010)
I am an infant nutrition and lactation care professional. I am not a "breastfeeding consultant.” My job is not to convince you to breastfeed. My job is to help you observe your life and create a plan for you to feed your infant in the healthiest possible way, lovingly. Luckily for us, in today's modern world, there are plenty of ways to do so!
We too often hear parents telling us they "failed to breastfeed" their child. Wrong. And we shouldn't chime in saying "actually the world failed you" either. This parent, feeding at the breast or not, did not fail anything. More than devoting a week to bring empty awareness to the world, we should change the narrative we are telling families. By changing the story, we will be able to embrace all parents, including those who believe they failed. To promote something, we do not need to exclude others.
Feeding your infant at the breast/chest is, before anything, a choice. You chose based on the cards you were dealt. Breastfeeding is not love. The way you choose to feed your infant doesn't define your love for them. You can love your child and feed them at the breast, at the chest, you can pump and bottle-feed, you can bottle-feed with donor milk, or you can bottle-feed with artificial milk. No matter which way you choose, find someone who supports you, and guide you to keep you and your child healthy and happy. Breastfeeding is not the only option. Breastfeeding does not define love. Breastfeeding is a choice.